The Strength of Weakness: Why Vulnerability Builds Better Leaders
In this episode of the HR Leaders Podcast, I had the pleasure of interviewing Inga Staniūnė, Chief HR Officer at Avia Solutions Group. Our conversation centred around an important yet rarely discussed topic - the importance of vulnerability and emotional intelligence for effective leadership.
Inga shared insightful perspectives from her own personal leadership journey. As leaders climb the corporate ladder, they can start to feel disconnected and lonely at the top without proper feedback and support. Compounding this is the prevalent expectation for leaders to "have it all together" and show no weakness. However, suppressing vulnerability can backfire.
Inga explained how leaders need to remain human and deal with personal issues transparently. This builds trust and psychological safety with teams. Personally, Inga found therapy helpful in setting better boundaries as a leader. She also launched an HR support group where leaders realized they faced similar struggles in their personal and professional lives.
The culture of invincibility catches up with leaders eventually. As Inga put it, HR leaders often go the extra mile to support others but neglect their own wellbeing. Seeking help when needed is a sign of strength, not weakness. By role modelling vulnerability, leaders empower others to bring their whole selves to work.
The heart of great leadership is emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Projecting an aura of invincibility has diminishing returns. As Inga shared, showing you are human resonates more with teams today. Leaders who embrace their weaknesses demonstrate courage and pave the way for more authenticity in the workplace.
Episode Highlights
Why Emotional Intelligence and vulnerability makes you a better Leader
How understanding yourself helps you reach your career and life goals
The Importance of Feedback and Support Networks for Leaders
Recommended Resources
Follow Inga on LinkedIn
Learn more about Avia Solutions
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🎙️ Automatically generated Podcast Transcript
Inga 0:00
There are a lot of beliefs, you know, like an imaginary you know, thinks about the HR that usually HR and they don't need a support. And even though they don't have any problems, they should not have any problems because they know how to fix everything. And this is also like a really, I mean, it's gives up pressure, you know, on the shoulders
Chris Rainey 0:25
I have one Welcome back to the HR leaders podcast on today's episode, I'm joined by Inga Staniūnė, Chief HR Officer at Avia Solutions Group. during the podcast English is why emotional intelligence and vulnerability makes you a better leader, and how understanding yourself helps you reach your career and life goals. As always, before we jump into the video, make sure you hit the subscribe button, turn on notification bell and follow on your favourite podcast platform. With that being said, let's jump in. You're welcome to the show. How are you?
Inga 0:57
Hi, I'm perfect there.
Chris Rainey 1:00
How are you anyway? How things,
Inga 1:01
things that really good actually, I have a lot of like insights after you know, like, after the summer, you know, from my, you know, personal experience, you know, like and, and professionally, obviously. So, and this is, you know, I was waiting for that meeting for that podcast is to share what's new. Tomorrow, I'm starting my new journey like bioenergetic analysis, trading psychotherapy training, that recently came back from the Leadership Conference, which was amazing. So yeah, a lot of things around, I would say new, low sense streams to follow.
Chris Rainey 1:36
How do you know, when you prioritise your time in terms of learning? Is it like, during your commute, or in the evening,
Inga 1:43
sacrificing a bit of holidays or weekends? It's not about you know, like, learning can be evening. So you know, like, my spare time. So yes, tomorrow, it's the day that usually I have to go to work and then means that I'm taking my holidays, my spare time, because of myself, and this is bigger, biggest investment, you know what I can get? So yeah, and priorities, you know, like, yeah, holidays. So, you know, works for days depends on which board as you know, I'm doing my this, you know, developments.
Chris Rainey 2:11
That's quite interesting, right? Because, you know, you're taking your personal holidays, as time to invest in yourself may sound strange to some people, because they're like, why would you spend holidays working? But if you're passionate about what you do, and you're, and you're excited to learn and grow and develop, then that's something you also can you can enjoy that as well. Right. So what was top of mind for you? Right now,
Inga 2:34
you know, as I mentioned, I mean, there are a lot of, you know, things, you know, different things, you know, that I that I've been, you know, like during the summertime and now, and somehow, you know, after the Leadership Conference, which was about, you know, exploring leadership and authority and working with desires and fears, I just came up with few, you know, topics related to leadership, and as well as the nature of function or professionals. It's how we define I mean, what we want to do in our life, do we start the means with the designing can project in life with a positive note, or just we list you know, the fears or those, you know, the worst case scenario that might come, you know, the main message, the main idea, this is what I found out about myself that I'm better usually I start all these new beginnings with the desires, and the fears, when usually I get it comes from the environment, it comes to other people, I have never stopped myself with something. Question. What if it was always the question? What's next?
Chris Rainey 3:38
That's such a good point. And because most people, the fear that you mentioned is what paralyses them when they take no action. Whereas you're saying, You're excited by that? And it's almost what if, what if I don't do it? When you were speaking to those leaders? What were the fears that they were mentioning?
Inga 3:59
I mean, the rebel riots, but what comes like the first thing is not having a followers, you know, when you are a leader, you know, so they shouldn't be a follower that follows you as the as the leader. And then it comes to know the topic, which is also kind of the, you know, like, kind of trying to dig deeper and investigate more, there's the loneliness and leadership which means that also that you don't have followers, you know, as leader or your lack of followers, your lack of those who support your ideas. And you know, goes as goes off to you just simply because you were, you know, like a great leader. And this is about you know, loneliness, which comes to know like, especially for those people who are first time managers, that's another topic where I'm in now as I'm starting, you know, leadership programming degree, which is for first time leaders. And lowliness topic is one of speaking I would say, I think that these were the main topics as well as you know, being being seen or visible. And of course, has to have a voice. And this is also the fear just to lose the voice among, I don't know, like, the third parties amongst your colleagues amongst word needs among, I don't know, like the entire organisation. So
Chris Rainey 5:15
what do you think that that fear comes from not being followed, they, they feel they have to be followed in order to be valued.
Inga 5:25
And think that what happens to no one will go up, you know, in terms of the leadership, you know, and the career, it's really weird to get to get a, you know, sincere and proper feedback. I mean, there was a really, you know, like, small group of colleagues, so, you know, fellows to, you know, partners, whom you can trust in terms of the feedback, in some cases, I mean, you just losing the proper sense of, you know, like, of the life and the ground. And sometimes you cannot be grounded as a leader without feedback. And this is I mean, essential. And the key element, I would say, like, no matter which position you are in, no matter what role you are taking, and that's the main, you know, driver that you can use for your personal growth and development.
Chris Rainey 6:10
I think, though, when that happens, you do have to ask yourself a question, because I don't think is a case of people don't want to give feedback. But do you? Are you showing that you're actually open? I've heard leaders in the past, say, I don't, I never heard this before. And no one's ever told me this, there's probably a reason why, because you're not showing that you're open to feedback. Or if someone has given you feedback, you've just shut them down. Right? So from a cultural standpoint, that's something they need to have that psychological safety, in order to feel like they can give me I've heard so many leaders say this, I don't get any feedback, or no one told me this and I become disconnected. And you kind of realised, well, you haven't created the environment where people feel they can give you feedback, as well,
Inga 6:57
I would say that it's two way communication. And it's two way, you know, like, the truth in both hands, it means that, you know, yeah, there are some, you know, some leaders who, who do not demonstrate that they are willing to get that feeling that feedback. On the other hand, you know, like, I would say, there is a also I would say, I believe that if you are a top manager, so you're strong enough, you know, to carry and to survive, and those, you know, like different, you know, situations, and, you know, you know, the best what to do, you are, you know, the superhero to, you know, just to save all of us, you know, and just to show the direction. So in some cases, I mean, it's really, you know, like, yeah, I would say that somehow, somehow, it's, I believe that, you know, CEOs, they don't need the support, or the leaders, they don't need a support, because now they know what the best. And this is, you know, comes with another, you know, issue, just how to be you know, a leader without, you know, losing that humanity or that, you know, just how to show your vulnerability, and just to find that, you know, appropriate level, when it's, you know, good to show that you are vulnerable, and you are really lost in some cases or lack of, you know, like, I would say, lack of ideas, how just to fixed all those situations, or just go out of that, you know, like difficult difficulties. At the same point to know, like, keeping that, you know, level of, you know, being the person who can take a decision. So that's, you know, the another point on the balance, the balance, that's true,
Chris Rainey 8:42
you said that last time we spoke, right, it, you mentioned, it's okay not to be okay.
Inga 8:47
It depends, you know, on the, on the environment in which you are, and you work out where I can share my personal example, you know, I'm doing my psychotherapy, I really started to share a lot, I mean, about psychotherapy, that's what I'm getting out of that activity. And, you know, guess what happens, I have in my team now, three people going to personal individual psychotherapy, and I think that it was, you know, a silent inspiration, you know, or the influence for them to take to start, you know, to give more support or just to start giving this cure for themselves. This is what I share it because I started to go again to psychotherapy in February back in February because, well, because of my personal situation, I'm going through the divorce, you know, process now and of course, I needed the support, but what happens then, I mean, if you start hearing for example, in the another you know, kind of you know, group of people who are not so you know, empathetic or something, which means that there are a lot of expectations or beliefs linked to To the certain, I would say roles. And especially when it comes, for example, to the HR person or the CEO, it means that those people, they cannot have any problems or issue and the personal life as well, no matter about the you know, the work but personal life as well. This is why I'm telling that it's really sensitive, because in some cases, if you are not ready to share that, if you don't have appropriate support for that, it can hurt because those expectations, how could you I nature, you are a psychotherapist, you have your issues, personal issues. And that's a stigma that people can be stigmatised. So, and this is really important, I mean, just to get appropriate support, when it's needed, how was
Chris Rainey 10:47
this journey shaped you as a leader, in terms of the psychotherapy, in terms of the journey that you've been on,
Inga 10:56
I'm still on the, in the process, you know, of just to find my, you know, comfortable seat, or the chair as the leader. And I think that it's never ending process. But what I can say, just looking back at my journey, being more, I would say, focused on a task, rather than you know, just to save the entire world. In some cases, of course, it's, I mean, it's about boundaries. So just to set boundaries, where you can support and help. And in some cases, you cannot just, you could just give her feedback, but unfortunately, it's not the area for responsibility that I'm in and just maybe I can, I can help you somehow, in this situation. So I think that yeah, I've just learned more about boundaries, how to say, you know, in some cases know, when, when it comes, like, your personal work life balance, on the other hand, you know, like, psychotherapy would gave me to understand and just to go deeper when a person, for example, resist or says no, so after all knows, or those resistances, or, you know, like denials or whatever it can be, there is a story behind, which means that it's either, you know, some some story related to the work issues, or personal issues. And that's, you know, this is what I'm trying sometimes to understand what's going on in that person or the individual life. Yeah, and how can I, you know, help, I mean, that person, and when it comes to, you know, to some, you know, discussions, argues, you know, like, or disputes and etc. So my question is, usually is that, how you in general,
Chris Rainey 12:48
give me money behind the normally behind that is not is nothing to do with work, or it's not a work particularly, it's how they're feeling personally and things happening outside of that. You're right, like most of the time, my, my experience has been, that's been the case. It's interesting, because we started this conversation, saying, it can be lonely at the top, sometimes we started talking about, it's hard to get feedback, and I felt like some of the most effective leaders is HR. Because who does HR talk to you when they have a challenge at work? You know, you know, a lot of people have someone to turn to right, but who do you go to as a CFO? So, before I let you go for those HR leaders listening, or those future CEOs, what advice would you give to them who are on their journey to sit in the role of CFO and like yourself.
Inga 13:38
And this is what I mentioned that there are a lot of beliefs, you know, like an imaginary, you know, thinks about the HR that usually HR and they don't need a support. And even though they don't have any problems, they should not have any problems, because they know how to fix everything. And this is also like a really, I mean, it's gifts, a pressure, you know, on the shoulders. And what I did, actually, I launched one, HR support we before COVID, and unfortunately, we were stopped because of those restrictions, you know, like not together with and etc. And then I did another group, I gather another group this year. So we had 12 to 15 meetings, of course, it was done locally, but I would love to just make just to make this, you know, kind of a support group, you know, on a global scale. And that was amazing. And, you know, what happened when we started, you know, to make parallels, you know, like, in between experience, professional experience and the personal life, there were so, you know, like, match points, there were so matching points about decision making, there were so matching points about the situations there are people that you know, those HR people they had to, you know, to sacrifice something or just to, you know, just to live with that, you know, feelings or one on another about the loneliness as well. So that was You know, like, there were a lot of, you know, discoveries that were, I would say that, that, that that meeting was and that support group is one of the initiatives or the one of those resource sorts of resources that HR can get. Because I mean, for me, that was, you know, also have an insight when, during the, my annual appraisal process, my benefit manager CEO said, I do understand you work as an emergency. Can you imagine what convergence means? Yeah, I mean, you're all the time, you know, like in some kind of in a pitch, you know,
Chris Rainey 15:39
constant fight or flight mode, as well. And I think that's great advice. I think the what I took away from that is for people listening, find a good group, you know, a local network, a community that you can tap into your realise very quickly, that you're not alone. There are many other people that feel the same way. But yeah, as you said, it can be very lonely. And that's something I've come across in my personal conversations with your colleagues all over the world during the years that I've been doing this. And no one really talks about it that much. We talking about the well being of our employees, but we don't talk about the well being of ourselves. So I think this has been a great, I appreciate you taking the time on this episode to share your personal journey and challenges because it's important for so appreciate you being vulnerable and share it and it means a lot. It was
Inga 16:30
my pleasure, actually to share because I do believe that it can open some windows or doors to someone to start the new beginning.
Chris Rainey 16:40
Well, listen, I think it'd be great to leave it there before I let you go. Where can people connect with you? If they want to reach out and say, Hi,
Inga 16:46
I think that LinkedIn is the best, you know, way to get just to get me you know, like in into some conversations. Yeah,
Chris Rainey 16:54
amazing. Fantastic. Well, wish you all the best on the journey. It feels like you're definitely a continuous learner. As you like you have a clear passion for learning, which is great because you have to be to be in the role that you have, in general and appreciate your time and for everyone listening. There'll be a link in the description to connect with Inga on LinkedIn if you want to reach out and say hi, but apart from that, I appreciate you sharing your journey and I wish you all the best until next week.
Inga 17:21
Thank you once more
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